Last night, I read a post from my niece about her little grade school daughter not making the cut for swim team, and the coach walking over to the bleachers and announcing not making it in front of other kids and moms, reducing the little one to tears. ugh
I told my husband about it, and commented that I didn’t agree with young kids not being allowed to participate in any sport at that age, particularly one paid for by taxes. My husband immediately disagreed. He said that kids needed to learn what it’s like in the real world. He asked me incredulously how the school system could accommodate every kid. He even asked me if I thought every kid who wanted to sing in a choir should be allowed to, whether they could ‘sing’ or not, and it was my turn to be incredulous and answer an emphatic yes. I told him that I understand having A teams and B teams, or having select choirs etc., but that no child should be barred from participating, learning, growing, and enjoying. This conversation turned into a short, but extremely intense argument, during which he called me a socialist. That’s pretty funny if you know me. I responded that he reminded me of Ebenezer Scrooge prior to his awakening and repentance. pfft
Well, it all sounds almost silly to write it this morning. Maybe I’m just too tired to be blogging, but then again, only sleeping a few hours last night is part of my real world right now. The thing about it all is, I felt such extreme dislike for him when he expressed views on only select kids getting to do certain things as part of their school experience. I said in that case, why not follow through on that logic, and if only the fastest and most agile kids get to enjoy a team sport, then when do we test kids and bar access to taking Calculus or Chemistry? Which kids aren’t good enough to play in the band or orchestra? How about Art class?
By the way, when I was a kid in school, I scored academically at the top, and won awards for athletics. I just think it’s wrong to discriminate against kids. Let them compete, let there be select teams for competition, but don’t bar any kid from participation and enjoyment. When I hear people say “Well, that’s just how the world is”, I’d like to say that maybe it shouldn’t be that way.
At the end, I said “I could just post both of our views on facebook, and see what consensus comes back from others.” He made a scornful remark about not caring about what other people think, and then said that I’d twist his words. Hmm. I then said we could each write a few paragraphs, and I’d post his own words that he put into writing. I could see that immediately he didn’t like the idea of putting something in his own written words, and I realized… duh.. of course not! That would mean risking looking bad, risking a veer away from the nice guy image. He didn’t want to stop telling me how upset he was with my viewpoint, but I told him I refused to discuss it anymore unless he put it in writing.
Haven’t heard a word on it since.
For whatever reason, I tossed and turned last night, and gave up around 4:00 a.m. and just got up. Around 6:30 a.m. (we usually get up around 6:00 a.m.), I was back in the bedroom to get something. He mumbled something at me, and I told him that I hadn’t been able to sleep and had been up since 4:00 a.m. He instantly commented on what a rough night he had. ugh more dislike…
I said, Just once, when I tell you something like that, would you respond with one sentence of compassion before making it about you?