Recently, I told him that I’d realized that when I felt anxious or stressed, that I would unconsciously and intermittently hold my breath, and described how it seemed to make me feel physically. I asked him if he knew what I meant, and if he’d ever done that. He was calm, and said, no, he’d never felt that way, and didn’t do it, and made a kind of Aww, sorry to hear scripted sounding response.
A few days later when he was upset/resentful about something/whatever, he began to describe in eery repeated detail about how when he’s stressed out, he holds his breath, and how it makes him feel.
That’s not the first time that he’s repeated something from or about me and taken it on as his own. I actually leaned my head in confusion, and said, “Wait… wait… that’s exactly what I just talked to you about a few days ago! You said you never felt that way, and now you’re repeating what I said as though it was you instead of me?”
Ooh. He flashed some anger, tried to stick to his story, seemed to realize at some point how messed up it was to defend, back-tracked, switched, launched a few subject changing accusations, and that was the end of that.
Except how quietly disturbed I felt by it in the aftermath. Sometimes, I wonder if he’s a kind of identity vampire. I know that sometimes I feel as though he’s literally siphoning energy from me, but I mean something different here. It’s the literal taking on of my beliefs, tastes, sensations, and experiences. But who is he?