One small step

After months of my reluctant involvement with his business, we’ve gone from being in danger of losing everything, to being partially caught up, and yesterday we were able to spend $1,050. cash on a second car.  (The first car is worth about the same amount.)  For a long time, we’ve tried to navigate on one car, including the young adult and teen drivers.  It’s just been so stressful and limiting.

However this sounds to normal people, maybe it sounds absurdly pathetic to be so dysfunctional you barely have transportation,  this is huge here.  Having one car was so limiting, and so vulnerable. 

Despite lack of timely support, I’m pushing the steps to have a garden again this year.  It’s becoming a new kind of mantra.  I have to try.  I may fail, but I have to try.  Too many things over the years were taking the heart right out of me, and now I’m fighting to take it back.

I’m going out to plant some spinach and kale here soon, but I’m also celebrating by going to meet someone for coffee after I get the planting done.  I’ll go in my grubby garden dirt glory in sweat pants, but I’m going.  It’s another mom that I met and liked (but barely know) through one of my kids, and it’s the kind of thing where you say “We should get together” but don’t.  I just messaged her and asked her, and so here I go.  Another baby step back to finding the me I lost for so long, and towards life.

I feel flickers of hope and strength.  Should I be scared?

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4 Responses to One small step

  1. Good for you, for reviving the business and getting another car and especially, for the gardening! Yes, this might be scary; I think that’s normal. But fear should not stop us from acting. My definition of a brave person is one who does things even though she is afraid. You are brave!

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  2. chosetobehappy says:

    No way!! you should not be scared dear… you’re taking you back 🙂

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  3. lonelywife07 says:

    Have fun! Do this for YOU!! One little step at a time! And yes, I hear ya on the garden….I love gardening, but the last two years, I just couldn’t get into it…too depressed, I guess? Will give it a shot this year though! 🙂

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  4. marsocmom says:

    Have fun! It will do you so much good to get out and away, and do something for just yourself. Good luck with the garden, post some pictures too. 🙂

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