Ad hoc vs. planned for the passive aggressive

In my prior post, I was expressing frustration about what seemed like (and surely felt like) some garden sabotage.  Try as I might, I can’t come up with an explanation for his letting all my flowers die last year that doesn’t include a lack of love for me.

Your responses and feedback were funny and insightful.  I have tried reverse psychology with mixed results in the past, but marsocmom still made me laugh to suggest it.  “Tell him that sunflowers do best in the shade.”

The response by newshoes highlighted the difference between planned and ad hoc: “That’s just the way they are, they sabotage anything they can, from simple little request, to large scale projects just because. They start off with the mentality that they will fail anyway so they do. I’ve yet to meet a pah that was positive, or if they were, it was very rare. Adhoc stuff they can do well, taking care of a sick parent, picking a child from school, putting out the garbage at the last minute before the truck comes by, etc…. But if it’s planned, their negative energy will surely ruin something. I’ve learned not to plan too far ahead, just in case.” 

This seems so true with my experiences with him.

Exodus replied to newshoes:  “my therapist told me that they have negative personalities…always in a state of negative defense. You are also correct that the reverse psychology doesn’t always work. They know us very well and know exactly who we are and what we like and what we don’t… We can never plan ahead. Oh gosh, that is just asking for trouble…My husband only ‘performs’ well when he knows that others are watching…This is why PA abuse is so dangerous for the victims that have been isolated.”

Adhoc vs. Planned and Performing vs. Private

They start off with the mentality that they will fail anyway so they do.” newshoes

Why?  I know what it’s like to be the recipient of this behavior, unsure of when and how he might sabotage.  I also know what it’s like to experience the perspective of personal anxiety from just traversing life in general, one where you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, and finding it difficult to feel safe or happy.  Some of that is surely a result of being sabotaged and hurt by him, but it’s also been because of the kind of trauma that Life can just throw in your path (like your son getting hit by a car). 

That’s just it.  Life will always be unsure anyway.  I even understand that I’ve done my share of self-sabotage over the years.  Turning to an addictive behavior is a kind of self-soothing that is also a sabotage of my health and finances.  I get that.  I’ve also forgotten to plan for a friend’s birthday, or even disconnected from it because my life precluded the ability to do much about it.  So maybe I can look at his never getting me anything for my birthday as part of that… maybe I can give him a get-out-of-jail-free pass because I know what learned helplessness feels like.  I can give him the benefit of the doubt.  But that doesn’t explain everything.

One time on a Mother’s Day, I offered an easy out right on ‘the day of’ because our (at the time very little) girls were expecting him to do something.  To redeem himself as a caring person.  He knew that.  I made light of his zero thought and preparation and almost made it seem like going to the Safeway deli for Chinese take-out was what I wanted most of all.  He was supposed to call me when he got there to tell me what the selections were.  So far, so good.  He called, I made my choice, and then asked him to please remember to get sweet and sour sauce, and please get soy sauce (because there was none at home).  He didn’t really respond, and I thought he was distracted, so I asked again, and told him that I wouldn’t really enjoy the meal without those condiments.

You all already know that he ‘forgot’ sweet and sour sauce and soy sauce. 

It doesn’t explain my planning to leave for a weekend to see our daughter, and finding out from him the night before (after my travel bag was packed) that he’d just paid some bills and there was no trip money left.

It doesn’t explain why after he repeatedly expressed concern of the effect of Rx sleeping pills on my mind and health, and after watching me grit it out for two excruciating weeks to go off them, that he secretly called in a refill, brought it home with our son’s inhaler, and then expressed astonishment that it was there in the pharmacy bag with the inhaler.  Or why when I said he should return them, and that I wouldn’t take them, that he put them in the cupboard.  Or why he chose that night to drop a financial bombshell on me and then stand and shout at me.  Yes, I’m ashamed to tell you that I broke down when he left, went out to the cupboard, and started taking the Rx again.  I’m happy to tell you that some months later, I planned to go through withdrawal and get off the sleeping pills, and I successfully did.  That time I told him that he didn’t have to support me, but if he sabotaged me, either he or I would leave the house that same day.

But ad hoc, as newshoes observed, seems to be a different story.  When he rises to the occasion, it’s often when I’m vulnerable.  This means I’m feeling absurdly grateful when he’s good.  It doesn’t always work out that way.  These are also the times when I’ve felt the knife slide in my back as he’s holding me, and to my wide-eyed tormented plea he responds, “What knife?”




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16 Responses to Ad hoc vs. planned for the passive aggressive

  1. Exodus says:

    PJ’s one of the reasons I don’t take drugs is because if I had them, I would become addicted. I’d give anything for a valium or xanax , percocet or vicodin but I just can’t go there. Don’t laugh ladies but my drug of choice at the moment is nitrous from whipped cream cans. I buy a couple every week and hide them from my husband. It’s truly pathetic..just imagine me inhaling a few puffs and zoning out in the middle of the floor. MY LIFE!!!! BTW migraine sufferers , you can stop a migraine in seconds with just one puff of nitrous oxide.

    I fully realize now that there is hell to pay for everything that I say or ask or expect. I have no need to wonder whether I will offend my husband and if he will punish me because everything I do or say offends him. Even if I tell him something nice and shower him with accolades, he twists my words to be the opposite of what I said. He only ‘hears’ what supports his negative self image. It’s so truly bizarre. My daily life is just a matter of expecting punishment and preparing for the sting. His birthday is June 9 and I’m not lifting a hair or burning a brain cell planning anything for him.

    I’ve been busy today with admin work…it’s that time of the month again (invoicing). While I was working, a few thoughts kept entering my mind:

    ” The differences between my husband and I that should seem so petty and insignificant are so enormous that they become the center of everything.” I observe other couples in public and it just amazes me when I see how caring and thoughtful they can be and how they are looking out for each other and how they are so supportive and respectful when an accident occurs. Accidents I can deal with but we don’t really have any of those in our marriage. Everything my husband does is deliberate and I can’t afford to have any accidents because I’m always trying to make up for all of his that have cost us so dearly. oh, except last Christmas I fell off of a ladder while installing lights and severely injured myself but even so, I had to just keep on getting it because I don’t have any support from anyone. My husband certainly won’t pick up the slack. I know that every couple has their quirks and their differences but the constant petty shit that I deal with daily has a traumatic impact on me because my husband’s petty antics cost us money, are wasteful, hurtful, negligent, One of the things that my husband constantly does is accidentally drop coin money all over the yard, the driveway, the floor of the autos, the floor in the house, the washing machine and he just leaves it in little piles all over the house. So many people have asked me why I have so much money just laying on the ground outside of our house and office. I’m not exaggerating. I used to be embarrassed when people would notice but now I just tell them the truth- that my husband loves to constantly remind me how he’s got power over me by destroying our wealth and it’s a way for him to remind himself that he’s a loser who will always be a penniless mongrel. You know, the self fulfilling prophecy thing. I never picked the money up because I wanted others to see the visible abuse. Today, I pick the money up and I put it in a hidden stash. I never pick it all up though because I don’t want him to notice that I’m stashing it or he will surely find it and steal it from me. Anyway, I didn’t realize how traumatized I was by this money issue until one day when I was eating in a restaurant and a man accidentally dropped his change at the register. Oh my gosh, my heart leaped out of my chest, I couldn’t breathe, my stomach felt like it had been kicked out of me and I thought I was going to faint. I can’t tolerate the sound of money falling at all. It completely freaks me out and I have a panic attack.

    The second realization that I had today was when I picked up my deceased dog’s favorite toy. I held it so close to my heart and then I held it close to my nose and inhaled his scent and I suddenly had a revelation about love. I miss loving my dog and I miss the love & joy that he so unselfishly returned. I miss the joy in always knowing that that he would make me laugh and smile all the time! I never felt anything negative around my dogs. There is nothing more wonderful to me than being able to express love through play and work in every day life. I’m not talking about intimate relationships. I’m talking about being able to express love in everything that I do whether it’s loving my work, hugging the postman for carrying my package to the door in rainy weather or taking a hot meal to a homeless person or feeding the birds or sending handwritten notes to people, drinking coffee with a stranger on the beach,making people laugh or smile. I truly do not expect anything back but it’s sure nice when someone responds or reciprocates. I just love to be a loving person because it’s happy and joyful and it unites instead of divides. I realize that I’ve had very few to zero significant people (family, spouses) in my life that were capable of accepting my love without attaching something negative to it because they don’t know how to truly love anything because they don’t love themselves. It’s very sad that I don’t have anyone to love anymore that would benefit or find any value in it. It’s sad that the only source of love I’ve had for many years was my dog (s). It’s not that I need to love anyone or that I need to be loved, I just want to be able to live that way because it seems to be the most natural way to restore balance in such an unbalanced world. Not being able to love is a death sentence. My husband is the antithesis to love. He even attracts evil. My entire existence, my entire world is tainted with evil. I feel like Mia Farrow in Rosemary’s Baby!


    • lonelywife07 says:

      Exodus….my heart is so sad for you. As I was reading what you wrote, I kept thinking, “She needs to leave him, she needs to leave him!” Can you just go? Do you have to stay in such a unhealthy situation?
      PA Man can be a jerk, he gives me the silent treatment if I start to ask for more then he wants to give, which is nothing, LOL….And yes, he’s been unfaithful twice in 25 yrs, that I know about…But he’s not cruel to me in the way your husband is….or maybe I see PA Mans cruelty in a different way? I don’t know….and that’s what confuses me.
      He does buy me gifts for my birthday or Mothers Day…but then reminds me of it for several weeks afterwards…His way of “buying me off” perhaps?
      We do have fun together….and he spends money buying me things I want…but maybe I’m missing the bigger picture?
      Or maybe as passive aggressiveness goes…he is more subtle and my brain refuses to accept it? I just don’t know.
      I do know what you mean about your dog, and the unconditional love there….my dog is so devoted to me…I love him and can’t imagine life without him…he’s had me crying on his neck many times, as he sits patiently by my side….Can you get another dog to bring you comfort??

      PJs…wow! That’s just unbelievable that he pretended like he didn’t know those meds were in the bag…now THAT is just plain CRAZY!! When I read this stuff I find that I go back in my thoughts, trying to see if PA Man ever did stuff like this! It’s really scary the things they do!!


      • Exodus says:

        PA behavior comes in different flavors and intensity. My husband isn’t just PA, he’s also got narcissistic and borderline personality disorder. It sounds like your husband pacifies you with ‘things’ as a way to keep you satisfied despite his bad behavior. We learn to accept those crumbs and assign more value to them than we should because we are so hungry for any nourishment.. Infidelity is a deal breaker and the wounds never heal. They only slightly heal and can be easily re-opened with even the slightest betrayal. PA behavior is never healthy but in my case, I have to be a bit more concerned about life and death matters. Look at it this way…putting a drop of arsenic in someone’s tea every week is PA and so is not repeatedly picking up the requested soy sauce. One kills faster than the other of course but nonetheless, they both chip away at a person’s health and well being. I completely understand why you feel confused about your PA husband and who he is and if he’s really a selfish ugly man. I spent years wondering what was wrong with my husband and I wanted to help him. I knew he had grown up in a patriarchal family where religion was used to abuse and the children were never allowed to express themselves. I’ve kept a journal of his behaviors for many years which helped me to finally realize that he’s truly sick. I should have and could have left years ago but I can’t now because I lost my job and haven’t been able to find another. I can’t afford to live by myself. We are in dire financial circumstances now. I can’t go into all the legal and business specifics but I’ve seen two lawyers and my situation is so bad now because I stayed too long and I will live with the financial damage for the rest of my life.. I even consulted with an attorney that specializes in PA abuse! Either I stay in this hell or I go on welfare and live in a shelter. I won’t get another dog because my future is so uncertain ( it would kill me to have to put my animal in a shelter if something happened and I was unable to care for it) and I won’t put another animal through the hell that I live with every day. My home is a very stressful and depressed environment and not a good place for animals that are already insecure. I know in my heart that both of my dogs that recently died, probably died from stress and heartbreak. I couldn’t sleep at night for the last 6 months because I kept worrying that I would have to find homes for them. I would wake up and pace the house with worry and I spent hours typing up care sheets for them. I carry the guilt of becoming everything I hated about my own mother by forcing my dogs to suffer the consequences of my bad choices. Animal rescue was never about me it was something I’ve been involved with since my youth- domestic and wildlife rehab and it was one of the ways that I give back and heal the world. I was very involved in the Katrina animal rescues and with the Michael Vick dog rehab ( Vick is another PA sociopath of a different flavor) It’s tough giving up something that I know is part of my life’s purpose but this is the price I pay for staying with a PA man who works hard every day to shut me up and shut me down, remove all that is good and loving and isolate me. He was always so jealous of our dogs that it’s no surprise that I’ve lost the ability to love them as well. But, I need someone to rescue me now. It means a lot that you care and that you share your feelings and thoughts with me. It is my hope for each of us that by reading our stories we can gain proper perspective of our unique situations and perhaps find a way to heal a broken marriage or find a way out.


        • WritesinPJ's says:

          Exodus, I understand feeling so tied and diminished. I have a feeling that even if you were to leave and find a small place with the aid of welfare, it would be a time of healing and the beginning of restoration.

          I’m now willing to do exactly that if he pushes past a few certain boundaries, and in my case it means taking my daughters with me into what would hopefully be temporary welfare.

          I love the thought of you building your life with a furry friend ever at your side. You’re worth so much. I think we all see what a loving, intelligent, and giving person you are, and you bless us with sharing yourself.


          • Exodus says:

            Oh Pj’s, I’m really really tired. I’m so broken and broken down that I can barely function anymore. I wish that I could find someone who would be willing to give me a break..someone with a little cottage to rent and someone willing to hire me. Sadly, I wouldn’t even hire me PJ’s. I mean, I can’t hide my broken spirit anymore, it’s visible in my face, the way I carry myself now and I when I speak, it’s strained as if I’m too tired to talk. Yet, there is that glimmer of hope that caused me to leave two weekends in a row. I am trying to revive myself and reincarnate into something better but then, I come back home and it’s all the same shit, the same ole broken record. Thank goodness I have all of you and this place to share.


            • Seeing the Light says:

              Oh, Exodus, I know how you feel. I can truly say that. My health has been utterly destroyed to the point of disability. I read PJ’s blog and the comments and what you ladies are all saying resonates with me so profoundly. Oh, the stories I could tell! What these men are doing is so WRONG! I have been knocked down so many times and had the life sucked out of my very cells and it took me almost two decades to even figure out just what was going on because I never imagined such a thing was possible, that something so twisted could be packaged this way. This isn’t the right post to get all of this out, but I wanted to say that I hear you speak your pain and I understand your broken spirit. If there is any fight left in you, don’t let him win! I believe there has to be a way to stand and find our strength and even flourish in this, even if we can’t physically leave (YET!) and I will not lie down until I find it. Keep fueling that glimmer of hope!


            • WritesinPJ's says:

              ((( Exodus ))) I’d give you a real hug if I could. I think you’re remarkable, and hold such great worth just because you are you. I’m thankful we ‘met’ here and that I’m getting to know you. You enrich my life here.


              • Exodus says:

                (((( same here PJ’s)))) I feel the same about you. How in the world did we end up like this? Surely, G-d has a plan for us?


        • RockyRoad says:

          Exodus – Tears burned my eyes reading how isolated and defeated you are living your life right now. It almost feels like attending a funeral and trying to comfort a distraught loved one… struggling for the right words to say to bring some comfort and feeling inadequate. I’m sending you a {{hug}}! Anyone who rescues animals has a very special heart and I’m so sorry that yours has been damaged.

          It sounds like you’ve searched out ways to escape your tormented life, so that says you haven’t entirely given up! As exhausted as you must be, I think you still have some fight left in you. Is there subsidized housing in your area? Safe spaces for abused women? If there is any kind of shelter for abused women, maybe they can help you escape your hellish home, offer help for subsidized housing and aid until you can find a job and get on your feet.

          Is there any possibility you could find a job as a caregiver? In a lot of cases it could be a live-in arrangement which would give you a roof over your head. I know a young man who lives in a man’s house who requires assistance and in return lives in an apartment within the man’s house at no charge plus a small monthly salary. Are there nursing homes you could contact for a living arrangement in exchange for caring for someone needing assistance living in their own home? My mother used to ‘sit’ with a lady one day a week who had a stroke, relieving the full time caregiver. The lady’s children were too busy with their lives to assume full time care of their mother.


          • Exodus says:

            Rocky and Seeing,
            Thank you for sharing- it means a LOT!!!!! I hate to even imagine what the two of you have endured. I will never understand why PA abuse, the most damaging of all abuses, is so minimized by therapists and by society.

            Seeing, your point about why it took us so long to figure out what was wrong is exactly why we stay in these relationships too long!!! It’s just so hard to believe that anyone could operate the way PA spouses do and because we are willing to compromise and make changes that will improve our relationships, we expect them to want to do the same. I had never heard of PA behavior until around 2000 when my husband’s therapist told me that he was PA. So, it’s been almost 15 years of trying to understand this dynamic and trying to survive in it. Even with the knowledge that I have today, it’s still very hard to accept that my husband is so evil.

            Rocky, you have great suggestions and thank you for offering them. That’s the kind of friendly advice that I need..that we all need!!! I have often considered becoming a care giver and I’ll start looking today for something that may appeal to me. I have looked into shelters a few times. I can get subsidized housing but only after I’ve been in the shelter for 3 months ( think it’s 3). I just can’t believe that my life has come to this. It’s so hard for me to accept that I in many ways I am disabled and that I’m broke. What kind of future can I possibly have?

            Then there are the issues of where I can store my things and how I can afford to store them and all that stuff that they never show in the movies.

            A year or two ago, I was at the grocery and a woman saw me and came up to me, touched my arm and said, ‘ Honey, I know that look, I’ve been there and I want to help you.’ I was so shocked by her noticing me and I felt ashamed at first but she hugged me and I just sobbed for several minutes on her shoulder. She explained to me how she was able to escape an abusive marriage and how she got disability and assistance. She gave me several numbers to call and I did try but apparently, I didn’t try hard enough. It was my fault. I have a hard time accepting that this as my fate.

            Ok…so I do have one idea that has been gnawing at my mind. I have an old acquaintance who is now the director of a wildlife rehab center in No. VA where I once lived ( I found her online in a newspaper article) and I’m almost tempted to go see her and explain to her how desperate I am for a job and a place to live and see if she will/can help me. It’s a long shot though because as you know, most of those centers operate mostly on volunteer help and can’t afford employees.

            I used to be a real fireball, never letting the grass grow under my feet and always found work and always survived on my own quite well. I know the economy sucks and our world has changed in ways that are not very conducive to finding work and rising above and out of poverty but surely there is someone out there with a heart??? I remember many years ago, I was running the landscape dept for an environmental corp and a woman walked in that looked horrible. She was in old grungy sweats, extremely overweight, her hair was a mess and she was mostly illiterate. She wanted a job working for me as a landscaper and had zero experience because she had been a housewife her entire life. My immediate reaction was that there was no way she could survive the work that my crews did. I accepted her application and I was very nice of course and I told her that I would consider it and she left. Not a minute later, she burst back into my office and all of a sudden she lit up and said, ‘ Look, I’ve been married to an abusive SOB who has destroyed my life, I have nothing left to lose except my 3 kids and I haven’t even any clothes other than what you see. I need to leave here today with this job, I won’t leave without it and I promise you that I will work harder than anyone else here.” Ok..I hired her and she turned out to be the best employee I had. She was so good that I even got her another job with benefits working as a gardener at a local historic foundation. Life was very good to her for several years until she married another SOB abusive man and instead of wasting time with him, she decided to try and burn him up in bed one night and now she’s in prison. I don’t know why I’m sharing this story. Maybe it’s because I feel so damaged that I don’t believe that even with help, I’ll be able to recover. I called my friend when she was arrested and imprisoned and I asked her if she was ok. She told me that her children were fine- “all growed up and on their own” so she wasn’t worried about them. She told me that prison was easy as cake and that she could finally relax and not have to struggle to survive anymore.
            What a depressing story but it’s the reality for so many women today. I don’t want to become one of them.


  2. marsocmom says:

    That is so true! Who cares about a to-do list when your wife is flat on her back and in tears? When my teenage daughter plops down on the couch next to me and wants to tell me about her day? Or when my elderly father cheerfully inserts himself into a shopping trip I had planned just so I could get away for an afternoon? (next time I won’t tell him….) Not all of us, but most women I know are just made that way…we need to have someone to care for. When we are able to shower care on others, that’s when God Himself can refill our watering cans with His own love for us.


  3. newshoes says:

    Incredible how we are all suffering from abuse at the hands of these men. Because they are able to get away with it due to the fact that we are loving forgiving supportive women, they have been able to walk all over us, but in the end, we are abused women. It doesn’t matter whether or not they buy us gifts (mine has not forgotten all that often and he’s very generous but to him these gifts make up for the times he’s been bad).

    I found this online: Abuse does not have to be physical. Abuse can also take a more indirect form and may even be disguised as “helping.” Criticizing, advising, offering solutions, analyzing, probing, and questioning another person may be a sincere attempt to help. In some instances, however, these behaviors may be an attempt to belittle, control, or demean rather than help. The underlying judgmental “I know best” tone the abuser takes in these situations is inappropriate and creates unequal footing in peer relationships.

    I do not believe for one second PJs, that your pah didn’t know what he was doing when he “found” those pills …. BS, he knew full well and it was just another attempt to keep you medicated in order to control.

    The thing is we fall for it every time don’t we. After this many years, every thing that he does now makes me question his motives, is he really being helpful or does he want something from me, is he being sincere or is that a sarcastic remark, did he really want that or he’s just agreeing with me to get back to me???

    We all live in a permanent state between ambivalence, confusion and hopefulness that keep us in a relationship that can never be sane or loving.

    I obviously need therapy but as long as I’m with this man, I will never be able to get myself to a healing place no matter how hard I try, there will always be something that will trigger me back into this permanent state of confusion.

    Exodus: I feel for you. You are under his complete rule like a servant. I hope that at some point you can get yourself out of there and into a safer place mentally.

    Lonely: he’s abusing you by keeping you guessing whether or not he will cheat again and make no mistake he will.

    NONE OF US HAVE TO ACCEPT THIS. I’m going to pray tonight that we all get clear minds from each other and perhaps we might be able to move towards something better.


    • Exodus says:

      I like your prayer. What a very well written and insightful post about us. I could hear the sincere heartfelt concern in your words, written with the determination of a preacher who wants to save herself and her congregation. I was truly touched and inspired. You go girl!

      Why do we keep falling for their games? Because it is not in our nature to be paranoid distrusting, negative bitter people like our husbands. We do not enjoy looking for negative qualities in others. It’s a shame that nice people get treated so poorly but it’s a fact of life that bullies only pick on nice people. This is one of the characteristics of being human that I don’t like.


  4. Exodus says:

    I’m going to vent this morning because it’s hot and I’m so f’n ticked off at the moment I could scream. I’m also waiting for my coffee to heat up.
    I had a fairly big job to start this morning and so I got up early and headed out at 7 to meet with a builder and our client to confirm all the details of phase 1. I haven’t worked with my husband on a job in years. I can’t work with him because we don’t work together as a team and it makes us look like dumb and dumber in front of the public. But, this morning I really wanted to help him on this job because I need this 1st phase completed properly – 100 percent finished because my carpenter needs to get in tomorrow and do some work and I thought he would enjoy coming home early. A lot of the work involved heavy tree work and pruning but it was no biggie and with my help could have saved us several hours and lots of money. OH gosh, that’s right…saving money is a sin in our lives. Darny shucky, I keep forgetting. I’m such a stupid b*tch.

    It’s difficult to explain all the specifics and why I had to walk off the job ( at 10am) but it comes down to the fact that my husband creates a ‘ mine and yours’ sort of mentality when working on things that should be done together. It’s always my dog, his dog, my tree, his tree. Thank goodness we never had children. Come to think of it, my brother’s ex wife who was PA started the this is my daughter and this is your daughter bit when they were married. Interesting. Anyway, I was doing the selective pruning by hand and he could have been coming right behind me with the sheers and then I could have been raking up clippings behind him and loading the truck. BUT NO..he has to work completely on his own in the opposite direction. This is why every time we hired someone they would come to me a few days later and tell me that they hated working with my husband. He is an A-hole to everyone that threatens his over inflated ego. He doesn’t work from right to left or left to right..he works completely opposite of what I’m doing so that I end up unable to complete anything. I heard him start up the super duty sheers and I thought..” why is he doing that fine pruning now when we still have loads of heavy plant material to remove? “. He has two bodies to work today so why would he want me just twiddling my thumbs doing nothing..especially in front of other people and our other contractors? I was miss congeniality when I confronted him and of course he got super shitty with me and so, I said, ‘ Sure, no problem, just call me if you need me” and I got in my car. He was screaming ” Where are you going, wait, where are going?” I pretended not to hear him and I smiled and waived goodbye. I’ll go back in two hours and if he hasn’t done what I need him to do, well, he can stay extra time and do it again. He’s such an idiot and I’m so angry at him right now that I am tempted to bury him in the customer’s back yard. Do you think anyone would notice?


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