Small vent. I hate it when he sighs.
He sighs a lot. Especially if I ask him to do something. Everything is about reading the subtleties with a passive aggressive, and that gets exhausting.
When I hear it, I know that ‘something’ is wrong, something is upsetting him, something potentially I’ll be ‘punished’ for in a covert abuse way. If I were to immediately ask him if something was wrong, he’ll usually respond with a mild complaint, although it’s not what’s really eating at him. He’ll respond that his back hurts, or he didn’t sleep well, or he’s just not feeling quite right (the same stuff he usually says in sighs to avoid intimacy). He’s complained about that stuff since the beginning. The real resentment is saved up to be stacked into a barrage to launch. The launching waits until he can provoke me into reactive anger towards him.
Hearing him sigh is not as much of an anxiety trigger as it used to be. I know something is bothering him, but I don’t bother to ask about it. It’s about disconnecting from negativity, and his perpetual resentments and ensuing self-pity.