It’s not that I’ve never yelled, raised my voice, gotten mad or shouted… but there’s a certain way that he’ll yell, and I associate it with bad things happening. Months or years can pass between when he crosses out of the bell curve, but it reverberates over time for me.
I still feel triggered from last night.
He apologized to our daughter this morning. He didn’t apologize to me.
I’m pretty sure he knows how it affected me. I’d bet he knows.
I’m trying to act as normal as possible, but how I feel inside is weepy.
Somehow, I have to pull myself back together inside and focus to stay on track.
I really just want to cry, and for some safe haven to regain strength and clarity.
I feel… unstable.