The most unsafe place when you’re with a passive aggressive is to be vulnerable and to need.
I’m struggling so much to believe and accept something. This morning I found out that a cousin of mine died. She spent much time at our house when we were kids, and grew up to be a funny, beautiful woman. We haven’t talked or seen each other for the last handful of years. How did that happen? How did I get so tired and isolated that I’ve lost touch with people? I didn’t know she had cancer until I found out this morning that she died yesterday.
I’ve been looking at pictures and crying on and off.
I was crying on and off. I stopped, and pulled myself together, because he was escalating and giving off what to me were warning signs.
We had a work meeting, and he was subtly condescending, impatient etc. That’s when it started to hit me that I needed to compartmentalize my feelings until a safer time.
Then he had an argument with our youngest son. It was a legitimate issue, but he handled it in such a bogus way with unnecessary drama.
Draining. No affection. No support.
Just minutes ago, he talked about how tired he was, and that he didn’t have much to give. I said, “Okay.”
At least after all these years, I’m finally expecting him to be difficult and unsafe if I’m vulnerable and have any intense personal needs.
Like the ability to grieve.