Every day I live with two men. One is immature, resentful, spiteful, deceitful, and hurtful. The other is funny, works and helps, is smart, interesting, and can be sweet. When the good smiling man walks in the room, the hug is sweet. When the sneaky aggressive man is around, it’s like having murky septic fumes in the room. No wonder it’s crazy making.
I can’t change him. I can barely (with God’s help) make the changes I strive to reach for myself.
I’m trying to stick to a timeline that’s best for me and my kids.
If he repents during this window of time, I’ll be unbelievably thankful.
I will not let this beat me. I won’t. I’m going to focus on my goals. God is my shield and shelter.
I expect I’ll have some bad days.
I’m going to proactively plan to have more good ones.
Today is good so far. Three bins sorted and donated before breakfast. Kitchen cleaned up twice. Held strong during the work project management meeting. Refused to be steamrolled over a purchase that can wait (although realistically I can expect him to possibly get it and later say that I said we should… this comes with the territory) Dinner is planned. The sun’s shining!
Ready to teach my daughter, and if I get exercise in, I’ll call this a successful day.
Lonely, but successful. Today I have hope.