Freaky Friday catching a bus story

I found a couple old journals, and let me tell you that it’s probably more fun to get a root canal than to read those.  Reading about my own life seems surreal and macabre, with its moments of humor, like putting comical garish makeup on a patient in a hospital bed.  No wonder I’m in pajamas!  Do you remember a story to share?   I’d love to hear it!

The excerpt below goes back to February of 2009.  The son referenced would have been in ninth grade.   We live rurally where there are moose, elk, cougar, wolves, and bears.  Part of our split responsibilities was that he’d give the sons attending public school a ride to down the country rode to where the school bus stops.  I was busy with my morning stuff, when I noticed Son4’s winter jacket was still hanging up.  This is what I’d written that day:

Today is Friday the 13th of February. I used to LOVE Fridays when I was younger. Friday was a day of potential fun, adventure. Now, it’s just in the melting pot of nothingness days blurring into days. I’d like to write about sex, or should I say the lack of sex, but there are kids sitting right behind me.

Some of the anxiety feelings I have are ever present in my body.  My heart races, then my head hurts. Sometimes my lips feel numb. The fatigue is like feeling transparent, as though I’m not entirely here but fading away.

(When asking him about Son4 missing the bus.)

Me: Did Son4 make the bus?
Him: No, apparently not, he’s sitting in his room.
Me:….. um… Have you decided you’re not going to be involved in this?
Him: I didn’t know I was part of it.

Wow, so really, which part of being a father and Son4 being mutually our son is he not a part of…

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6 Responses to Freaky Friday catching a bus story

  1. Ouch!
    Your mention of root canals reminds me of a story from my life. My husband has gradually but inexorably withdrawn from his duties as husband and father. I no longer list him as an emergency contact. He lives out of town, with his elderly parents. Earlier this year, I had a root canal done. I’m scared of having dental procedures done, but this was a necessity; the tooth died last year, after a few weeks of middle-of-the-night excruciating-pain episodes. I didn’t have dental insurance until this year, when I decided I could finally afford it (husband has gone “employment-optional” so money is always a problem). I also don’t like to drive when the weather is bad, but I must do so in my new life, because my husband no longer lives here. So, I drove to an appointment for a root canal procedure through a sudden blizzard; I lay in the chair having a very uncomfortable procedure done; and I thought about the fact that my spouse has chosen to not be a person who is there for me when I am in pain or afraid. And then I drove home through the snow, feeling physically stunned because of the procedure and all the drugs I’d been given.

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  2. newshoes123 says:

    Obviously he hasnt’ changed a bit….

    Here’s one: Both sons are home sick that day, the house is in chaos from toys strewn here and there, a load of laundry on the kitchen floor, the vaccum is lying in the middle of the living room plugged in because I had attempted to clean up and vaccum, the boys beds are not made because both threw up in them, one has a fever and is teething, the other just has a fever and no explanation…. sigh…I’m feeling a tad overwhelmed by that point in the day, the kids are small and needy as they should be when they are sick, it’s almost 6pm, I have one child in my arms and he’s crying, the other is half asleep on the sofa, the dog is asking to go outside and the pah walks in the door, I’m bouncing one sick baby in my arms trying to soothe him. Pah says (very obviously in a bad mood already): “what the hell is wrong with this place, it’s a pig sty, why didn’t you clean up, where’s supper??” Now, he knew that I was home with both boys because they were sick, obviously anyone kind and normal would have taken a look at the whole picture and figured out in 10 seconds flat that I’ve had a bad day and I’m seriously not in the mood to get yelled at. So me: “get your own supper as you can see a….hole that I’m busy with 2 sick throwing up kids and do the friggin vaccum and leave me alone and by the way, get out and come back when you’re in a better mood”….. he turned around and went to his parents. Thanks for the help &^%$#%^&!!

    That was a day I never wanted to live again. One thing that did happen after that, he never asked why supper wasn’t made again. At least there was that.

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  3. Bronze says:

    I found a diary saying I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes as my mother and stay for the kids sakes nor was I going to turn into his mother and turn myself into a subservient slave who lived for my husband just to keep him. I was pregnant – the next entry is after the baby is born and I am clearly drowning in depression at the situation and despite saying I wouldn’t stay, I stayed for another 10 years. I remember I pulled my socks up, fixed my depression and got on with it but that still didn’t make my marriage any better.

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