Signs You Might Be a Trauma-Bonded Co-Dependent (and what to do about it)

Trauma bonding creates an ongoing mishmash between my mind and my emotions. Trauma bonding is worse than super glue. I know it’s present in my life, but it can feel almost impossible to sort out which is what in my feelings because of its convoluted dynamics.

Excellent post from a great blogger, and I hope you find it as worthwhile as I did!

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed


One of the most difficult challenges in working with victims of Narcissistic abuse is helping them see that they are not responsible for their abuser’s actions, behaviors, cruelty, or consequences that arise out of said partner’s bad choices.  The next most common occurrence is victims not being able to decide if their partner is a Narcissist, or just a jerk.

With rare exception, those who reach out for help in escaping their abusive partner feel responsible for every bad thing that ever transpired in the toxic relationship.  They doubt themselves, they continually wonder if there’s something they could have done differently, and they come to me with unbearable feelings of guilt, humiliation, and shame.  This is all due to the Narcissist projecting their shame onto the victim, as well as having been the target of abusive, exploitative conditioning.

When something goes wrong in the Narcissist’s life, or he or she…

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4 Responses to Signs You Might Be a Trauma-Bonded Co-Dependent (and what to do about it)

  1. Thanks for posting this. I don’t think I’m a trauma-bonded codependent, but I do often have moods when I feel really low and think, “I always knew I wasn’t good enough to be a wife, and it’s proved by the fact that my husband withdrew from me and doesn’t communicate with me and treats me like I don’t exist.” It’s good to be reminded that his behavior really isn’t all my fault.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Anonymous says:

    Oh that was so painful to read and I’m tearful. I identify so much with all of that article, and as I’ve kept saying, I just didn’t recognise that my marriage was abusive. I thought I just needed to try harder. How can parents do such damage to their children? Thank you for re-posting PJ- as you say, I’m living and learning too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • WritesinPJ's says:

      When we know better, we try to do better. We can’t exercise choices that we don’t see, and when we do see? Be kind and gentle as possible to yourself.

      I’m a parent with many regrets, but I can only take each moment and try to recognize the choice in it, then pray for the courage and wisdom to make a better one than in the past.


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