One of the best bloggers on passive aggressive abuse recently wrote about feeling stuck. I gave a brief response there that I’m adding to here:
I wrestle almost daily with thoughts that sound very much like yours, only I vacillate back and forth being wanting to just g.o. and wanting to believe we can make it work here.
It’s a gray fatigue that I don’t want to last forever. I set some goals a handful of years ago (so that others were least harmed by my choices), and I’m crawling nearer to that crossroad.
So even though I’m not at the point of ‘this is the time to go’, I swerve from feeling I have to leave or it will kill me, to maybe enough change will happen for me to manage a decent life for what’s left.
It makes me feel crazy if I think about it too much, so I just keep trying to become healthier, and will cross the bridge when I come to it.
Even having said all that, I wonder if I’m so conditioned that I can’t think straight to know the right thing at the right time.