I’ve been thinking about my shopping comments from this post. To those who aren’t familiar with my background (or passive aggressive men), it’s another subtle dynamic that plays out.
My experience with my husband is that when I’ve gotten to participate in something, have something, or get something, it was a problem unless he got to do/be/have something equal or better.
In the past this has meant he could resent me for jobs I may have enjoyed or that held potential, taking a class, joining a group, buying clothing, traveling to see my family, playing an instrument, being noticed for an accomplishment, or even just watching a show on television. I learned to ‘have’ or ‘be’ by making sure that he was included or compensated somehow.