Monthly Archives: April 2015

I want it to be Friday

Posted on April 28, 2015 by WritesinPJ's

Five times that I’ve gone to equine therapy, and now each week seems to stretch out a little longer between sessions.  Getting in touch with feeling splashes of sanity and happiness have also seemed to intensify feeling the impact of … Continue reading →

Posted in equine therapy, passive aggressive abuse, passive aggressive husband | Tagged , , | 36 Comments

I don’t want to be passive aggressive

Posted on April 27, 2015 by WritesinPJ's

Right as I was finishing the previous post, I got up to talk with him before he left to drive to town on errands.  I had a short grocery list, and checked to make sure he remembered his wallet. We … Continue reading →

Posted in passive aggressive abuse, passive aggressive husband | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

No reason to stay

Posted on April 27, 2015 by WritesinPJ's

His passivity about his abusive behaviors, and his self-pity are driving me crazy.  Really.  Like I want to shout to the world just everything.  Every gritty, ugly, and humiliating detail.  Let the chips fall and the cookies crumble.  And I … Continue reading →

Posted in passive aggressive abuse, passive aggressive husband | Tagged , , , , , | 7 Comments

Name that feeling

Posted on April 25, 2015 by WritesinPJ's

Questions that I hear in therapy:  What are you feeling right now?  Where do you feel it?  Which part of your body?  The same wonderful white horse was waiting for me again.  This time I was ready with some apple … Continue reading →

Posted in equine therapy, passive aggressive abuse, PTSD | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Counting apples

Posted on April 21, 2015 by WritesinPJ's

I had our piano tuned yesterday, and I feel almost amazed that I’ve gone from what was a very long time (financially) of counting apples (to make sure there were enough for school lunches), to being able to pay someone … Continue reading →

Posted in passive aggressive abuse | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Never sure

Posted on April 21, 2015 by WritesinPJ's

Part of the impact of living with a passive aggressive man, someone who gaslights, is never being sure of myself, not even of my own thoughts or feelings. I’ve spent (too many) hours of my life trying to understand who … Continue reading →

Posted in emotional abuse | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Courage and fear

Posted on April 15, 2015 by WritesinPJ's

It seems so strange, but just three times (so far) of being able to connect with a horse, an animal that I’ve always admired and loved, has been awakening both courage and fear inside of me. I’ve found myself thinking … Continue reading →

Posted in agoraphobia, anxiety, covert abuse, equine therapy | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

This morning’s argument

Posted on April 11, 2015 by WritesinPJ's

Our two youngest daughters have been sharing the responsibilities for the cat we adopted from their older sister.  This cat has won the hearts of the entire family, but he’s also been battling cancer, and so gets special supplements on … Continue reading →

Posted in passive aggressive abuse | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Reflections on shopping

Posted on April 11, 2015 by WritesinPJ's

I’ve been thinking about my shopping comments from this post.  To those who aren’t familiar with my background (or passive aggressive men), it’s another subtle dynamic that plays out. My experience with my husband is that when I’ve gotten to … Continue reading →

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What I still feel

Posted on April 11, 2015 by WritesinPJ's

I’ve been concerned about how dull I’ve felt.  Gray, washed out, and non-caring.  I’ve felt little enthusiasm about starting plants for the garden, and because of that, already missed opportune windows for starting some from seed. Morning began around 5:00 … Continue reading →

Posted in equine therapy, passive aggressive abuse | 3 Comments