Monthly Archives: April 2015

I want it to be Friday

Five times that I’ve gone to equine therapy, and now each week seems to stretch out a little longer between sessions.  Getting in touch with feeling splashes of sanity and happiness have also seemed to intensify feeling the impact of … Continue reading

Posted in equine therapy, passive aggressive abuse, passive aggressive husband | Tagged , , | 35 Comments

I don’t want to be passive aggressive

Right as I was finishing the previous post, I got up to talk with him before he left to drive to town on errands.  I had a short grocery list, and checked to make sure he remembered his wallet. We … Continue reading

Posted in passive aggressive abuse, passive aggressive husband | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

No reason to stay

His passivity about his abusive behaviors, and his self-pity are driving me crazy.  Really.  Like I want to shout to the world just everything.  Every gritty, ugly, and humiliating detail.  Let the chips fall and the cookies crumble.  And I … Continue reading

Posted in passive aggressive abuse, passive aggressive husband | Tagged , , , , , | 7 Comments

Name that feeling

Questions that I hear in therapy:  What are you feeling right now?  Where do you feel it?  Which part of your body?  The same wonderful white horse was waiting for me again.  This time I was ready with some apple … Continue reading

Posted in equine therapy, passive aggressive abuse, PTSD | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Counting apples

I had our piano tuned yesterday, and I feel almost amazed that I’ve gone from what was a very long time (financially) of counting apples (to make sure there were enough for school lunches), to being able to pay someone … Continue reading

Posted in passive aggressive abuse | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Never sure

Part of the impact of living with a passive aggressive man, someone who gaslights, is never being sure of myself, not even of my own thoughts or feelings. I’ve spent (too many) hours of my life trying to understand who … Continue reading

Posted in emotional abuse | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Courage and fear

It seems so strange, but just three times (so far) of being able to connect with a horse, an animal that I’ve always admired and loved, has been awakening both courage and fear inside of me. I’ve found myself thinking … Continue reading

Posted in agoraphobia, anxiety, covert abuse, equine therapy | Tagged , , | 3 Comments